Graduation – check. No emotions.
Once in a while I fall.. and when I do, it’s hard, can’t help but feel this weird feeling inside. Some call it butterflies and who am I to disagree, I’ve never felt it through their bodies anyway.. for me this feeling is like a reminder of “Aight Johnny, you’re in trouble – things are getting serious, you’re in the heat.” And do I want it? More than anything. Do I like it? Not sure.. you see, it’s a shock that goes through your body, alarming your consciousness to be aware of some freaky shit to happen. The feeling of butterflies is supposed to be heavenly but for me it’s exactly the same as when you’ve fucked up bad and just feel sick about it, I mean really sick. The moments when you just want to fall on the ground and self-destruct.
Gah.. I guess what I’m trying to say is.. I .. fuck it.
I fall in love and usually do nothing about it because I don’t know if my love is strong enough. I hesitate to let it grow ’cause as fast as it may spawn it could fade as well. I just don’t want to hurt her.
Diary of a madman. 